i'm laying in bed right now, the darkness is thrown around my shoulders like a warm blanket, and bingley is snuggled up next to me snoring away his dreams. and as i write, as i think and process, and put thought to form, i am overwhelmed by the place i'm in. the last few months of my life have been so unexpected that i'm not sure i can even pluck words out and place them together in a way that makes sense. so, as with all my blog posts, i'm just going to write- no grammar, no spell check, just letting my mind run rampant and my fingers click-click-click away. if you want to wade into this mess, that is up to you.
i had expectations for seminary. i expected to learn a lot and have a lot of homework. i expected to make new friends, and have to buy a winter coat. i knew that there would be a lot of change and i knew that i would not walk out of this program the same woman i was when i walked in.
and yet, even with all that preparation and forethought, i was still totally unprepared for seminary. the following is an unorganized, not well thought out, verbal upchuck of all the things that have surprised me. hopefully for those of you who are looking to this blog as some sort of update, it will serve to give you the faintest taste of my new seattle life...
i was unprepared for the crazy, swing of emotions that i would feel. one minute i am feeling excited, hopeful, competent. the next second i'm devastated, sad, insecure. i was unprepared for the sheer amount of work i'd have. i am shocked that i have time for anything but being haunched over a desk in the library. who knew that professors would want to cram centuries of thoughts and works and ideas into our brains in a smattering of weeks? and if anybody knew that was going to happen, why didn't they inform me (i'm looking at you amy klug)?? i've been unprepared for all the sun and warmth and light. thanks God for the beautiful summer with which to ease me into seattle living. i'm shocked by how easily Bingley has transitioned. he is one furry little trooper. i was unprepared for how empty my wallet would feel. i had forgotten how expensive learning can be. also it is ridiculous what seattle charges for an avocado. looks like i'm going to have to say good-bye to those till Christmas break.
the last little surprise has come to me in the shape of 20 unique men and women. they are the brothers and sisters that i am traveling through SPU with. they are my fellow wanderers and they are my soft place to land. i am in awe that i only met them a couple months ago. i have come to count on their support and prayers and wisdom. through each one i get to see a new side of our Heavenly Father. i laugh with them. i study with them. i cry with them. i make ridiculous youtube videos with them. they are there for each of the small moments. they are the biggest blessing.
