12 Gauge Panache - Remember When Me and Oliver

here is a video of my favorite band. this was an extremely rare occurance where they agreed to play for just a small intimate group. i was lucky enough to be invited!

For Rocks?

This weekend I watched a movie titled: Blood Diamond. Maybe you saw it, maybe you picked it up at Blockbuster because you heard that it was the action film of the year or perhaps you're a fan of Leonardo Dicaprio. Those are a few reasons I rented it. But I found that when I watched it I discovered more than a movie. That little piece of cinema changed a lot for me. I watched as children were handed guns and told to use them. I watched as men had their hand cut off and women were raped. Why? For some shiny rocks- for diamonds.

It brought up a lot of questions for me. Why do we continue to hate and kill? What causes us to completely ignore compassion and instead turn out attention to destruction? There is a quote from the movie that has stuck with me. It has been churning around and around in my head all weekend: Sometimes I wonder... will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? Then I look around and I realize... God left this place a long time ago. Is it true? Has God left Africa?

No I think not. I think that God is there. But it is hard to find him. It sure feels as if He has turned his head. I think that the best possible thing I can say about that is I don't know the "why's." I have asked, pleaded, screamed at God and I have no answers. But this I know: I know that He loves these children. I know that He cares about what happens to Africa and I know that I have to do something. I cannot sit at home and pretend that everything is fine. Everything is not fine. But there is hope and I must cling to that. There are children who have been made to do horrible things, they have seen awful things, but they are still children and I can see no other purpose in my life than to love them. I want nothing but to love them. My hope is that I will soon figure out a practical place to put that love.

all hopped up on the easter bunny!

yesterday was easter sunday. when i woke up on sunday morning the very last thing i wanted to do was go to church. i dragged myself into the shower, then with a sigh of frustration i faced my closet. first i couldn't decide what to wear. nothing was right- nothing felt right. after my clothing disaster i faced the challenge of my hair and well that just opened up a completely new can of worms. now for all you men out there who read this and think to yourselves, "wow chelsea these sure do seem like ridiculous problems. these issues ruined your morning?" to you i reply, well you're right (a little bit) these are ridiculous problems and i did have my focus in the wrong place. however i don't think you grasp the completely consuming way that not being able to find an outfit takes over. it becomes more than just the clothes that you wear- it affects how you look at yourself. with one tee-shirt you can be sexy, smart, ugly, or sad. the clothes speak about us. but i digress...

anyway as i walked into church i felt myself wishing that i had stayed home, covers thrown over my head, waiting till monday. but then God, as He usually does, intervened. during worship on sunday i could barely keep my feet on solid ground. this Lord i worship is amazing. i sang at the very top of my voice, i threw my hands into the air, and i remembered His promise. Jesus died so that i might have eternal life. the best part of that is that i don't have to wait till i die to claim that promise. i have life over the ordinary, mundane aspects of life. as we sang about His resurrection i was reminded once again that He gave me everything. i am not trapped by clothes or feelings or sorrow! hallelujah!

it's offically here!

I never thought Spring would show up! I wandered around Seattle freezing and completely sure that I would never see daylight again. Ah... but what can I say? I just had to show a little patience. Lately our campus is budding with flowers, the sun is out, and everything feels like a new beginning. The above picture I took on one of those impossibly beautiful afternoons. Don't you with you were here?