Finding Mr. Bingley...

so today i did my favorite morning activity: i logged into my computer and scoped out my friend maryann's blog. it is my favorite place. while there i find humor, honesty, sorrow, joy, hope, and best of all: OZ! oz is maryann's cat. i hate cats and i have never met oz but somehow deep in my soul, i know that oz and i would be friends. anyway she had posted the story of how she came to bring oz home. i loved it. so, because i steal all my best blog ideas from maryann, here's the story of how mr. bingley came into my life, heart, and how he's changed everything.

i'd been wanting a dog since i was in college. well, that's not true. i'd been wanting the idea of a dog. i liked the idea of walking with a cute little furry guy. i liked the idea of bumping into fellow dog owners around town and talking about our dogs. i liked the idea of turning my life into a reese witherspoon movie when my dog wrapped his leash around the legs of a handsome stranger. i'd even picked a name for my not yet real pup: MR. BINGLEY (he's the real prize in pride and prejudice)! all these things sounded great, but the reality of picking up poop, spending tons of money, and having to basically find a baby-sitter if i wanted to leave the house for longer than 4 hours did not sound wonderful. so i put my pet ownership ideas aside.

a few years later i was living with my parents and my life felt so without color. i felt sad most of the time and couldn't quite place why. i barely saw my friends. i felt stuck. one night i was hanging out with my friends kevin and colleen and i was meeting their brand new puppy, zoey. she was so sweet and little. they told me they'd adopted her and her brother was still without a home. kevin told me that they hadn't been able to decide between her and her brother and showed me this picture of the dog that had been left behind.

i wanted him. but i lived with my parents and they had a dog and they had been very clear that if i wanted a pet it would have to be under another roof. but i thought i would try anyway. so i called my mom and kevin (who is much better at convincing my mom to do what i want her to do) started texting her. but she remained unmoved. there was no way she was giving it. i had heard that tone in her voice before. she meant business.

the next morning i went downstairs and my mom was sitting at the breakfast table. as i sat down to have a bowl of cereal, she told me that she had changed her mind and i could get the puppy. my first thought was that she had been taken over by body snatchers, but i didn't really care because the body snatchers were on my side. i sent an email to the founder of the puppy adoption organization and claimed mr. bingley (at the time named "skully") as my own. about a week later i drove to north torrance and picked up the tiniest little ball of fur i had ever met.

this was our first moment together



i can't really describe what having this little man has meant to me. partly because i don't want to be that person. you know, the one who talks about their pets like they're people. the person who you think is pathetic because they love their animals so much. my head knows that bingley is just a dog. but my heart, my heart believes something completely different. my heart knows that mr. bingley saved me. this year was a hard one for me. there's been a lot of change. there's been a lot of things that have left me wanting to hide under my blankets and never come out. but this dog makes me laugh. he snuggles up to me while i watch trashy tv. he loves me unconditionally and he needs me. he relys on me. he trusts me. he also steals my socks, chews up my shoes, pees in the house, and eats the electric cord of my very expensive hair straightener. but he's all mine and i'm all his.

he's gotten a lot bigger since i brought his 2 lbs of fur home. he now weighs in at around 30 lbs. but he's just as cute as he was on that first day. do you want to know what changed my mom's mind? of course you do, it's the best mystery in this post. she said during her quiet time that morning as she was praying, God told her to let me have the dog. as always my Abba knew exactly what i needed and made sure i got it. ok, enjoy these gratuitous pictures of bingley...

with the wind at my back...

i've been saving this post. i didn't want to publish it until i'd had a chance to tell my students that i was moving and i didn't want to publish it until i'd had a chance to really think about what i want to say. well both of those things have happened and so now i get to dive in! the following is specifically for the 6th-12th graders who have changed my whole life...

to my crazy little monsters who i love so much:
i'm not sure you know how much you mean to me and i want to take this chance to tell you. because you should know. you should know that you took my life and turned it upside down. you should know that my faith and my heart will never be the same because of you.
here's what you've taught me...
you've taught me to believe in miracles. i thought i already knew that one, but i had let my cynicism and fear slowly wipe it away. but here you are, believing. you've reminded me that there is no mountain too big. you've shown me that 12 teenagers can raise $14,000 or that with prayer all our hurts can be healed. you've shown me that when we believe, when we really believe, we can move mountains.
you have reminded me to laugh and not a polite giggle- but a loud "head-thrown-back" belly laugh. when i am with you i lose track of time, i forget to be sad or annoyed or angry. we laugh till our sides ache. we laugh till we're out of breath. we laugh at the crazy things you do. you drag joy into every crack of that youth room. there is nothing i love more than listening to you tell me about your day and laughing at your stories. you remind me that our God wants us to hold tightly to hope.
you've shown me to welcome everyone. i am so impressed with how you open your hearts and your arms to others. you do your best to be a group that welcomes everyone. you are a safe place. you've made our youth group a safe place. i love watching you at camp as you run to the forest home staff and show them how happy you are to be there. i love watching as you bring your friends to events. i love hearing you stick up for each other. thank you for teaching me that everyone deserves a place that they are seen.
You have taught me not to be ashamed of the gospel. you proclaim loudly, that you love Jesus! you bring friends to church, even friends who may not want to be there. you talk about the bible and prayer and your relationship with our Savior. you love God with all that you are and that is a light that shines so brightly.
i want you to know this: no matter how far apart we are, i hold you in my heart. there is no distance that will make me forget you. there aren't enough miles in our galaxy to separate you from my prayers and my love. you are seen. you are heard. you are loved. you are loved. you are loved. seattle is a long way away, but our hearts are tied together and there is nothing that can untangle that knot!
love always and forever,
chelsea