1. i don't know why i keep a bowl of candy on my desk, it just makes it even more difficult to ignore it.
2. fall is the time of year i miss seattle the most. i can't stand it that i'm missing the crisp, cool air and beautiful leaves.
3. i'm almost done with my book on africa, but i've decided i'm too chicken to let anyone read it. i guess i'll have to see if i can find my courage once i'm officially finished.
4. i'm so sleepy.
5. we had earthquake drills all day today and i have to say, i doubt that in a real emergency things would go as smoothly.
6. i have the best music playlists ever! every time i think the next song can't beat the last one, something awesome comes on. some days shuffle really is my friend.
7. i have the best friends ever. some days i am just astounded by the love, humor, graciousness, and selflessness they have. a special "i love you" goes to: PATRICK, CARLEE, TIMBERLY, MATTY (both the california version and the seattle version), LALA, AMY, MISS JACKSON, TYLER, and the amazing, fantastic SIGNE!
8. i have no idea what game to play at youth group tonight.
9. i'm mad at maryann because she doesn't post blog updates nearly enough.
10. every time sugarland comes on it reminds me of high school, which is weird because they definitely didn't have a CD out when i was in high school.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
questions...
i get a lot of questions throughout my day...
some of the business ones sound like this:
"have you turned in your budget proposal?"
"are there still spots for winter camp?"
"what time should i drop my kid off for the event on saturday?"
some of the personal ones sound like this:
"do you want to grab coffee and catch up this week?"
"are you done using the washing machine?"
"what should we make for dinner?"
but the most important questions are the ones that sound like this:
"do you think God is listening to my prayers?"
"do my parents love me?"
"will it ever get better?"
now i think what i find the most frustrating is that the most important questions are the ones that i just don't have concrete answers for. the most horrible aspect of my job is that i don't have an answer that washes away the pain and uncertainty of life. these students i work with are wonderful and smart. they're compassionate and so hilarious. so when they look at me and ask me the BIG, SCARY questions i just want to be able to give them an answer. but i don't have one.
so here's what the questions i ask sound like:
"God, am i doing a good job?"
"God, how do i love people the way you would?"
"God, will you help me?"
some of the business ones sound like this:
"have you turned in your budget proposal?"
"are there still spots for winter camp?"
"what time should i drop my kid off for the event on saturday?"
some of the personal ones sound like this:
"do you want to grab coffee and catch up this week?"
"are you done using the washing machine?"
"what should we make for dinner?"
but the most important questions are the ones that sound like this:
"do you think God is listening to my prayers?"
"do my parents love me?"
"will it ever get better?"
now i think what i find the most frustrating is that the most important questions are the ones that i just don't have concrete answers for. the most horrible aspect of my job is that i don't have an answer that washes away the pain and uncertainty of life. these students i work with are wonderful and smart. they're compassionate and so hilarious. so when they look at me and ask me the BIG, SCARY questions i just want to be able to give them an answer. but i don't have one.
so here's what the questions i ask sound like:
"God, am i doing a good job?"
"God, how do i love people the way you would?"
"God, will you help me?"
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
copy-cat
as per usual, i'm copying my best blog ideas. anyway, i was trying to come up with a good and concise way to give ya'll an update on the life and times of chelsea lee... so i stumbled upon this. By the by, if you aren't reading my friend maryann's blog you are missing some amaze-balls stuff. here's my version:
currents, 9/27/2011...
1. current music: geez, the only way i could figure this out was to look at my most recently played list on my ipod, here's what came up: gungor, james taylor, glee, and mumford and sons.
2. current wishlist: to have my very last student loan all paid off. too bad i'm still a year away from that gem.
3. current tv show: the new girl- i am shocked by how much i love this show.
4. current location: i think that would be the front steps in the sanctuary of RLC during preschool chapel. i love watching those teeny-tiny little people sing songs to God and i adore that i get to help them figure out who they are going to be.
5. current book: the help. i don't care if it's a bandwagon, i loved reading this book.
6. current indulgence: spending all saturday catching up on what's recorded on my DVR. this is not only a waste of a DVR, but it's making me a couch potato.
7. current worry: that i'm not good enough. that i'm only giving my job, my family, my friends, and my life a percentage of me. that i'll never be able to be "all the way in".
8. current project: i'm building these drawers for under my bed. and yes, i'm just as impressed with that sentence as you are. let's all take a minute to ask God to make sure that they turn out awesome and not ugly.
9. current movie: i can't get enough of crazy, stupid love. i saw it like 4 times in theatres and i never do that. it was amazing. i feel like it speaks to me in some way that i can't quite get a hold of.
currents, 9/27/2011...
1. current music: geez, the only way i could figure this out was to look at my most recently played list on my ipod, here's what came up: gungor, james taylor, glee, and mumford and sons.
2. current wishlist: to have my very last student loan all paid off. too bad i'm still a year away from that gem.
3. current tv show: the new girl- i am shocked by how much i love this show.
4. current location: i think that would be the front steps in the sanctuary of RLC during preschool chapel. i love watching those teeny-tiny little people sing songs to God and i adore that i get to help them figure out who they are going to be.
5. current book: the help. i don't care if it's a bandwagon, i loved reading this book.
6. current indulgence: spending all saturday catching up on what's recorded on my DVR. this is not only a waste of a DVR, but it's making me a couch potato.
7. current worry: that i'm not good enough. that i'm only giving my job, my family, my friends, and my life a percentage of me. that i'll never be able to be "all the way in".
8. current project: i'm building these drawers for under my bed. and yes, i'm just as impressed with that sentence as you are. let's all take a minute to ask God to make sure that they turn out awesome and not ugly.
9. current movie: i can't get enough of crazy, stupid love. i saw it like 4 times in theatres and i never do that. it was amazing. i feel like it speaks to me in some way that i can't quite get a hold of.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
it's a puplife...
About a month ago I adopted the little face above. I had been thinking about getting a puppy for awhile, but it was one of those things that I think about and talk about and then decide it's too much work and move on to something else. But when some friends of mine adpoted a puppy (who was just the cutest thing ever) and told me that there was a little boy available in the litter I just did something totally spontaneous and snatched him up before someone else could.
The afternoon I brought him home I remember carrying this little fluff ball to my car and thinking, "UH-OH! Now you've done it... Now you've got this little creature to take care of." Puppies, in case you didn't know, are a lot like furry babies. Especially in the beginning. You wake up with them every 45 minutes because they ahve to use the bathroom, they're teething so they chew everything, they get into everything so you have to watch them, they cost a bunch of money as they need "stuff", they need love and discipline and mostly time. Time to train them to be good dogs and time to care for them.
Mr. Bingley is a lot of work. But here's why he's worth it: he's got the whole "unconditional love/adoration" thang down to a science. I mean, I'm this little guy's whole world. I know that sounds insane, to love being loved by a dog... and I'm not sure how exactly to explain it... but let's just say that Mr. Bingley came to me at just the right moment. He drives me crazy but he's also the best company after a long day.
So, dear blog, get aquainted with Mr. Bingley. I promise this isn't going to turn into a blog full of posts about my pet, but I can't promise I won't be posting cute pictures and stories now and then.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
never underestimate an 8th grader...
here's some of the reasons why i love my job...
1. no one makes me laugh like my boys. shout out to jake, patrick, jay, matt, ricky, waffles, vincent, dillon, and taylor!
2. i learn all about what's in fashion from the greatest girls ever created.
3. i still get to go to camp.
4. i have these amazing conversations about life and love and God.
5. ricky's bucket dance.
6. each day looks different, nothing is ever stagnate.
7. i get to watch as students, who aren't even young enough to vote, work to change the world. i get to help them get involved and love people the way God created them to love.
8. listening to my kiddos sing worship songs.
9. avalon. period. need i say more?
10. watching the kids that i love and adore and pray for grow up and begin to love and adore and pray for others. there is no better moment than when i realize that the faith i hold so closely is as important to my students as it is to me.
1. no one makes me laugh like my boys. shout out to jake, patrick, jay, matt, ricky, waffles, vincent, dillon, and taylor!
2. i learn all about what's in fashion from the greatest girls ever created.
3. i still get to go to camp.
4. i have these amazing conversations about life and love and God.
5. ricky's bucket dance.
6. each day looks different, nothing is ever stagnate.
7. i get to watch as students, who aren't even young enough to vote, work to change the world. i get to help them get involved and love people the way God created them to love.
8. listening to my kiddos sing worship songs.
9. avalon. period. need i say more?
10. watching the kids that i love and adore and pray for grow up and begin to love and adore and pray for others. there is no better moment than when i realize that the faith i hold so closely is as important to my students as it is to me.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
A Year to Grow...
this morning i finished david platt's book "Radical". i've been reading it for most of the summer and honestly, i must say that until today i would have said it's good, but not life changing. each chapter i read i would agree with what he was saying, but i just couldn't seem to see why i needed to read it. i thought to myself, "chelsea, this is a book for those people who haven't been on mission trips. this is for the Christians that just show up on sunday and don't love God the way you do." sometimes i am disgusted by my own ego. the good news is whenever that nasty pride manages to creep up, God knocks me down a peg or two.
i read the last chapter today. it was all about taking a year to devote completely to God. there were five commitments that the reader could make for the next year to begin to show them how to live their lives radically. as i read the words i realized that i need this challenge so desperately. most days i use my job and my family to hide behind.
i lived in africa, so it doesn't matter that i spend more time at the movies or watching TV than i do at the feet of my Savior.
i work at a church, so i don't need to find a place in my community to serve- i am serving!
my money is mine, so i can spend it on whatever i want.
God gets my weekdays- so the weekends belong to me.
these are lies that i tell myself, maybe not consciously, but i tell them nonetheless. the thing is that God asks for so much more of me. He asks me to leave my mother and father, pick up my cross and follow Him. How have i let the devil convince me that those words are tepid? i have grown comfortable and it's made me lazy. so, i'm taking david platt's challenge. i've decided to spend the next full year following the steps below. my hope is that each one will help me turn my eyes off of myself and put them back on the Father. my greatest desire is that i will live my life in such a way that brings glory to God.
i'm sharing the specifics so that you dear blog, can help keep me accountable. ask me how it's going! also if you want to join me, i think that would be great!
1. Pray for the entire world: for the next year i will spend time regularly in prayer for the world. i'm going to get a giant map of the world and put it up in my room or office and i'm going to spend time praying over each country.
2. Read the entire Word: the only way to truly know what God wants from us is to listen to His words. the best place for that is the Bible. this year i will start in Genesis and work my way through to Revelation. although this is something i've done before, i want to use each day's reading as a way to listen. i want to see what God has for me in these words.
3. Sacrifice your money for a specific purpose: this is going to be hard. not to toot my own horn, but i am pretty good with my finances. i like to think that because of that i am allowed to "treat myself" from time to time. this is how i end up with more clothes than i could possibly need or a new book when i still haven't finished the last one. but i also think that this is the challenge where i will learn the most. so... i'm making a commitment to look over my budget, anywhere that's not deemed a "necessity" is going to get cut. OUCH! i'm going to pray about a cause or non-profit and i will donate that extra cash for the next 12 months.
4. Spend time in another context: when i read what was in this section, i felt like i was already accomplishing this. basically this just means to serve. serve locally, and serve internationally. platt encourages his readers to find a way to get their hands dirty. and again i immediately went, "yes! i've got this covered!" but just because my job has service woven into it doesn't mean that there isn't more of me to give. i can't remember the last time i visited the elderly in the hospital or served at a soup kitchen or went on a mission trip just because God asked me to and not for my job. so i'm going to find a way to give this year. not because i have students who need to see how important it is but because I AM A STUDENT WHO NEEDS TO SEE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS.
5. commit your life to a multiplying community: translation: get involved in a local church. done and done.
so that's it. that's how i'm spending my year. i want to end with a quote from this book. i think it sums up everything with words i just don't have:
"You and I have an average of about seventy or eighty years on this earth. During these years we are bombarded with the temporary. Make money. Get stuff. Be comfortable. Live well. Have fun. In the middle of it all, we get blinded to the eternal. But it's there. You and I stand on the porch of eternity. Both of us will soon stand before God to give an account for our stewardship of the time, the resources, the gifts, and ultimately the gospel he has entrusted to us. When that day comes, I am convinced we will not wish we had given more of ourselves to living the American dream. We will not wish we had made more money, acquired more stuff, lived more comfortably, taken more vacations, watched more television, pursued greater retirement, or been more successful in the eyes of this world. Instead we will wish we had given more of ourselves to living for the day when every nation, tribe, people, and language will bow around the throne and sing the praises of the Savior who delights in radical obedience and the God who deserves eternal worship. Are you read to live for this dream? let's not waver any longer."
i read the last chapter today. it was all about taking a year to devote completely to God. there were five commitments that the reader could make for the next year to begin to show them how to live their lives radically. as i read the words i realized that i need this challenge so desperately. most days i use my job and my family to hide behind.
i lived in africa, so it doesn't matter that i spend more time at the movies or watching TV than i do at the feet of my Savior.
i work at a church, so i don't need to find a place in my community to serve- i am serving!
my money is mine, so i can spend it on whatever i want.
God gets my weekdays- so the weekends belong to me.
these are lies that i tell myself, maybe not consciously, but i tell them nonetheless. the thing is that God asks for so much more of me. He asks me to leave my mother and father, pick up my cross and follow Him. How have i let the devil convince me that those words are tepid? i have grown comfortable and it's made me lazy. so, i'm taking david platt's challenge. i've decided to spend the next full year following the steps below. my hope is that each one will help me turn my eyes off of myself and put them back on the Father. my greatest desire is that i will live my life in such a way that brings glory to God.
i'm sharing the specifics so that you dear blog, can help keep me accountable. ask me how it's going! also if you want to join me, i think that would be great!
1. Pray for the entire world: for the next year i will spend time regularly in prayer for the world. i'm going to get a giant map of the world and put it up in my room or office and i'm going to spend time praying over each country.
2. Read the entire Word: the only way to truly know what God wants from us is to listen to His words. the best place for that is the Bible. this year i will start in Genesis and work my way through to Revelation. although this is something i've done before, i want to use each day's reading as a way to listen. i want to see what God has for me in these words.
3. Sacrifice your money for a specific purpose: this is going to be hard. not to toot my own horn, but i am pretty good with my finances. i like to think that because of that i am allowed to "treat myself" from time to time. this is how i end up with more clothes than i could possibly need or a new book when i still haven't finished the last one. but i also think that this is the challenge where i will learn the most. so... i'm making a commitment to look over my budget, anywhere that's not deemed a "necessity" is going to get cut. OUCH! i'm going to pray about a cause or non-profit and i will donate that extra cash for the next 12 months.
4. Spend time in another context: when i read what was in this section, i felt like i was already accomplishing this. basically this just means to serve. serve locally, and serve internationally. platt encourages his readers to find a way to get their hands dirty. and again i immediately went, "yes! i've got this covered!" but just because my job has service woven into it doesn't mean that there isn't more of me to give. i can't remember the last time i visited the elderly in the hospital or served at a soup kitchen or went on a mission trip just because God asked me to and not for my job. so i'm going to find a way to give this year. not because i have students who need to see how important it is but because I AM A STUDENT WHO NEEDS TO SEE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS.
5. commit your life to a multiplying community: translation: get involved in a local church. done and done.
so that's it. that's how i'm spending my year. i want to end with a quote from this book. i think it sums up everything with words i just don't have:
"You and I have an average of about seventy or eighty years on this earth. During these years we are bombarded with the temporary. Make money. Get stuff. Be comfortable. Live well. Have fun. In the middle of it all, we get blinded to the eternal. But it's there. You and I stand on the porch of eternity. Both of us will soon stand before God to give an account for our stewardship of the time, the resources, the gifts, and ultimately the gospel he has entrusted to us. When that day comes, I am convinced we will not wish we had given more of ourselves to living the American dream. We will not wish we had made more money, acquired more stuff, lived more comfortably, taken more vacations, watched more television, pursued greater retirement, or been more successful in the eyes of this world. Instead we will wish we had given more of ourselves to living for the day when every nation, tribe, people, and language will bow around the throne and sing the praises of the Savior who delights in radical obedience and the God who deserves eternal worship. Are you read to live for this dream? let's not waver any longer."
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The Help, Helped...
this last week i read The Help- actually that's a lie. this last week i DEVOURED The Help. I read the whole book in 5 hours. I couldn't put it down. The very next day as soon as I was done with work I marched myself down to Del Amo and caught an early showing of the movie with the entire population of the AARP. the following are my thoughts- jumbled, insane, and probably a bit over reaching- just like you like them.
in both the book and the movie what most caught my attention was the love abilee had for mae mobley. she grabs hold of that little girl, looks her in the eye, and says, "mae mobley is kind, mae mobley is smart, mae mobley is important." i lost each and every time i read that. because that's what this story boils down to. it's the story of looking someone in the eye and respecting them. it's the story of remembering that we're different, but those differences are what make our world special. those differences should be celebrated and shared.
as i think about this country and the places we've travelled i can't help but feel grateful. i'm so grateful that there were men and women who were brave enough to stand up and speak the truth- no matter what the consequences. i can't help but be in awe of the rosa parks', the martin luther king jr's, and all the people who fought for what was right. but this story reminds me of something else... this story reminds me that there are still injustices in this world. there are still battles to fight.
The Help reminded me that there is a fire in my belly. i am a woman with fight in her. i am ready to stand up and shout the truth. i'm not exactly sure the full scope of this. but i do know, it begins with me scooping each one of my students up, looking them in the eyes, and saying, "you are kind. you are smart. you are important."
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