To My Girls...

tomorrow is valentine's day and i've been thinking a lot about my girls. i've been thinking about the jr. high and high school students that i've worked with, mentored, and loved since they were little. there are some things that i wish someone would have said to me 20 valentine days ago. so, my sweet girls, this is for you....

to my girls:
valentine's day is another day in the year that we compare ourselves to others. it's a day that we look around and wish that our lives looked more like someone else's. i think it was designed to make women feel unsatisfied. if you're in a relationship than you have this expectation of what the night should look like. usually that expectation comes up short because your boy can't read your mind and even if he could, he probably doesn't possess the resources to make it rain while you're surrounded by twinkle lights and his embrace. if you're single than this is a night that you feel that singleness in every pore of your body. as someone that has never spent a valentines day with my soulmate (i haven't met him yet, but if you run across him tell him i'm getting pretty tired of waiting) pay attention to the following...

1. you are beautiful. every part of you is beautiful. we shouldn't need male attention to realize that, but somehow we do. but when you start to feel like smashing all the mirrors in your house because you're so disgusted with yourself, i want you to remember this: YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL. God could have put you together any way He wanted and He wanted you just as you are. embrace that. be confident. trust that God doesn't make mistakes and He didn't make a mistake with you.

2. you are not alone. when all your friends start to get into relationships it feels like you missed the normal bus. i know it feels like you're all alone, but you aren't. you have people in your life who love you. don't discount that love because it doesn't fit into the box you want it to. embrace the fact that you have family and friends who care about you. when you feel like the loneliness is closing in, call one of those people up. let them love you!

3. there are thousands of adventures out there waiting for you. one of my biggest pet peeves is that there are no girl adventure movies. batgirl never gets to save the day (and let's be honest, she's not gonna catch any bad guys in those heels). the sandlot gang is sorely lacking in estrogen. in the movies girls are the prize. they're the thing all the boys fight over or they're there for eye candy and snarky one-liners. but that isn't reality. you can have thousands of adventures. you can travel the world. instead of watching your life pass by you while you wait for a valentine, get out there! go chase one of your dreams. get dirty. let yourself see what the stars look like on the other side of the ocean. i have had so much fun exploring. my life has been utterly and totally changed because i let God whisper adventure in my ear.

4. boys can be your friends. some of my best friendships are boys. boys are smart (sometimes) and funny. they teach you to not take yourself so seriously. they are loud and chaotic and fun. go have fun. go be friends with boys without hoping something else will happen. one of the ways that God taught me to value myself was through boys who didn't hold my hand or kiss me or buy me dinner. God taught me what it means to trust a man through friendships with great and wonderful men. go find yourself a matt janosov or a tyler hellinga. they will be some of your most treasured friendships.

5. lean into God. being single is hard. don't let anyone ever tell you it isn't. there are times that it feels like you will never get the someday you're waiting for. you are allowed to grieve that. and when it feels like the sadness is crushing you, go spend some time with God. talk with Him about your hurt. trust him with your hopes and your dreams. there is no love like the one He has for you. those aren't empty words. i have been waiting 29 years for a "someday" kind of love. there have been times that i thought the waiting would kill me. but in those moments i have leaned into my Jesus. i have trusted Him with every tear and i haven't ever regretted it. He loves me more than anyone ever can. i'm better because i trust that love.

i'm sure i've got more advice than this, but i think this is a good start. tomorrow when you're surrounded by paper hearts and chocolate boxes remember that you are loved. remember that you are so very important. and remember that you are never, never alone. i'm always a phone call away.
love,
chels