the best part of home...

when i pulled into my driveway about a week ago my whole body seemed to relax. there's an anticipation that takes over as i pull off of prospect and onto faye lane. but the scent of salt water and the sight of that big blue enigma we call the pacific aren't the best parts. the best part of home is how every time i come back my whole family (daisy included!) rushes out the front door to greet me. i'm not sure i can explain what it's like to have this kind of unconditional love.

my mom always makes sure to have a mark special waiting hot on the kitchen table. tyler cracks some stupid joke that makes me giggle. dad helps unload the car and all the while daisy jumps around barking as if nothing could make her happier. there's something so comforting to be welcomed home. i am always welcome in my home. no matter my decisions, no matter my mistakes. and then just when i think the house and my heart will burst with the wonder of it all, in walks matty and oliver! and those boys (well, i guess men now) they love me and they protect me. they're the big brothers i always needed.

so i don't know if you know this delightful joy that is the "welcome" but i hope you do because there is nothing more gooey! and gooey is what we're always shooting for!

cha-cha-changes...

''Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad. It's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.''

it was a sunny september afternoon. i remember grabbing my purse and shouting a quick good-bye to my parents as they headed for a well deserved nap. as i walked towards martin square the butterflies quickly grew to jurassic park proportions. i was terrified, which made me laugh because i was just going to meet my orientation group- it's not like i was hosting the white house correspondance dinner. i found my group leader and just stared at strange faces. as we stood in a circle, hiding from the sun and sharing the bits of ourselves that we'd polished the best, i wondered if i would even remember any of these people three years later. that was the beginning.

the middle? well that is harder to put into words. how do i begin to express the laughter, late night talks, and tears i shed here? i can't. but i can say that all of my friends and experiences here helped me become more me! i think that one of my favorite memories was thanksgiving re-mix. our house was bursting with joy that night. the boys breezing in carrying food, matt worried that shannon would be offended by his fake polar bear hat; the whole night was full of laughter. i remember at one point looking around the room and feeling like this night was perfect. even those that were forced to the kiddie table had a good time. it's nights like that that sum up my time in seattle- good friends, good food, good conversation.

the end? well, the end is of course sad and devestating and exciting. i cannot imagine not having family dinners or coffee dates with brey or movie nights with elizabeth. i do not know how i will survive without laughing with my amazing roomates and i know that i will desperately miss mothering these boys. but i am so excited for the surprises around the bend. i am really ready to start fresh. no "good-byes" but definately some "see you laters"!

what happens after "happily ever after"

this quarter i have been taking a course entitled, "human sexuality." we've been discussing everything from birth control to homosexuality. it's been interesting to dive into discussion with such a diverse group of individuals. anyway, today we began our discussion of marriage. i found myself sitting in the room shocked by how unprepared my classmates are. is it possible to be this clueless? here's the thing, the topic was MARRIAGE and yet for a good hour there was some major discussion on WEDDINGS! guys, i am not sure if you're aware of this or not- but those are two very different things. i am convinced that our society today puts too much emphasis on the white dress, flowers, and where the couple will honeymoon than the actual marriage.

i have a great example of one couple i know that did it right. my best friend leigh anne (lala, don't be mad that i am writing about you in my blog) and her husband jordan were married in august of 2005. their respective families couldn't afford to help pay for the wedding and so leigh anne and jordan had a $7,000 budget- TOTAL! that included honeymoon, reception, flowers, dress, the whole enchillada (as my spanish savior sal would say). i remember asking leigh anne if she was bummed that she wasn't getting her fairy tale day. do you know what my incredibly wise friend said, "no! because i am getting the prince and i don't plan on losing sight of him in exchange for one day of magic. i want a lifetime of magic."

Yes We Can Obama Song by will.i.am

this video gives me chills everytime i see it! let's remember that we can! let's step out in faith and believe that change is possible! watch and be inspired!

Costa Rica 2007

here's a video from our trip. enjoy!

Archbishop Desmond Tutu on Forgiveness

waiting...

tonight i have been sitting on my bed all cuddled up and warm and i have been thinking about my fast approaching graduation. i am about five weeks away from finishing something i have never thought i would complete. i find i am consumed with fear, excitement, anticipation, and sadness. i am so ready for this new chapter to begin.

on the other hand seattle has changed everything in my life. i am not sure that i am ready to live this little cave i have carved out for myself. you know the other day i was sitting in my living room and i looked around at the people i love. i watched as patrick and joel argued about whether he was hiding her cell phone and i giggled as matt, adam, jake, and tim watched the mariner's game. carlee, heather, krista and kristin were talking about past and upcoming nuptuials. this warm glow started to spread around me. i felt so content. it was this rare moment of perfect happiness. yes i will miss this chapter quite a bit. it's a good thing that i don't have to say good-bye- just see ya later.