pebbles...

you wanna hear something funny? well not "haha" funny- more "hmmmm, ok" funny. there have been three major moments in my life. three times where i faced a fairly big decision. each time (i'm saying, each and EVERY time) i have found myself facing that decision on a mountaintop in South Africa. i'm not sure what to make of this. but this summer was no different. i'm completely changing careers, changing almost everything in my life and i'm not exactly sure what's next. so i found myself: freezing cold and staring at a pile of rocks on top of a beautiful mountain.

i was staring at this makeshift alter and i was wondering if i have what it takes to completely offer myself up to God. it's certainly one thing to say we want our life to be what God wants it to be. but what are willing to give up for that? what if God never wants to see me married? what if he never sees me with children? what if God's best puts me in a faraway land rarely visiting my family? see it's one thing for us to claim that we want God making our big decisions, it's another to actually LET him.

i came to a realization on that mountain. it has never been "my" life. i've always belonged to God. i will always be his girl and i am willing to lay down every one of my heart's desires to live a life he can be proud of. i am willing to give him my everything.

Abba, I belong to you!